We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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