I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Success! We fucked roommates!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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