You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
