If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
