Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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