you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize