you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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