Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
we should paint friendship bongs
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
