I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
