i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
