Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
