you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
