I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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