that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
