Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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