Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
BRING THE BAGELS
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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