She's JV to your varsity
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
