17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
