no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
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It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
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Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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