drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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