it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
