id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
