She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
