It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
