Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
