I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
