Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
