Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
