He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
