I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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