Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
