I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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