Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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