don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
