it wasn't lemon gatorade
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
