But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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