And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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