We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize