dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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