Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
