How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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