there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I love you.
Bad choice
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize