The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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