so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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