Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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