If i come over, it means nothing
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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