it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
