Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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