We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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