Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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