So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Let's get the cat blown out
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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