Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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