Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
