Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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