i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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