so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
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he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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