My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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