Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Watching her eat just hurts me
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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