Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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