Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize