That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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