Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
