living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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