when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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