***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
