You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
