just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
